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Staple guns - because duct tape can't make that "Ka-CHUNK" noise
- xkcd

Thursday, November 11

Step aside, Filly - I'ma take the spotlight this week.

Never call me that again.

Fine.

I've made a daring, and slightly dangerous, conclusion. Nutrition doesn't actually exist - it's just a marketing tool. I mean, look around once in a while - what do you see advertised on the side of packages of food? "NO TRANS FATS". Great. They took out something that no one really noticed or cared about before, but since it has one less type of fat, it sells. What the crap??? Who honestly gives a damn about trans fats (aside from my mother, who seems to have a severe nutrition fixation, who inspired me to write this out of spite for other nutrition freaks)??? I certainly don't. And, as we all know, I'm king of the world. Seriously, though - every year they come out with some new thing that's "incredibly bad for you" that no one really noticed or cared about before. I mean, it's not like we're still eating out of cans made of lead (yes, they used to make cans out of lead. It took them a long time to figure out that lead is poisonus). We're all gluttons in this country anyways - why try to take out all the bad things out of good-tasting food, and make it bad tasting? If you want to be "healthy" (I'm starting to question the authenticity of that word as well), just eat good things that don't taste as good. Don't take out your freakish nutrition problem on the rest of the world. Gahhh... nutrition should be drug out into the street and shot.

That didn't entirely make sense...

Yeah well.... I'm king of the world. Ha.


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