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Staple guns - because duct tape can't make that "Ka-CHUNK" noise
- xkcd

Monday, August 30

Mawidge. Mawidge is what bwings us togethaa today. Mawidge - that bwessed awangement, that dweam wiffin a dweam.

So tweasaa your wafe.

Have you the wing?

Do you pwincess buäcwup...



WHAT was that???

If you don't know, I refuse to talk to you.

Sunday, August 29

So, Fil.

Are you gonna bore us all again?

Yes, indeed I am.

Crap.

I was at work yesterday when--

WOAH!!! AT WORK??? CALL RIPLEY'S!!!

Shut it, you.

Fine - I'm going to... uhhh... talk to Jill.

You have fun with that. Anywho, I was at work yesterday when a teacher from errol walked up--

Woah - I've heard about that school. Stay away. It's a punk-ass school full of punk-ass kids.

I thought you were leaving.

Yeah, well, Jill's kinda busy reporting the weather.

Ah, I see. Well, this teacher walked up to me and said, "Do you have any other flavours of anti-freeze than that stuff over there?"



....wwwwwwwwWHAT??????


Since when does anti-freeze come in flavours? "Oh, yes, I'll have some blue anti-freeze on a waffle cone, please." It just doesn't work right.

I hate people.

HEY!! I take offense to that.

You're not "people", Fil. You don't exist, remember?

Oh yeah...

Thursday, August 26

Tell me, Fil. Does Jill ever wonder about which urinal you pick when you use a public washroom?

Does she ever. I just can't seem to find a way to explain it to her.

Fear no more, Fil. I have provided the answer.

I'm saved!!

Sunday, August 22

Hmmmm....

Saturday, August 21

It's that time agian.

What time, Owen?

Woah - it's Fil. Didn't... uhh... see you there...

You can't see me. I don't actually exist. You know that.

.....wwwWHAT?!?!?! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!!! AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.....

You made me up a few months ago... remember?

...oh yeah...

Well, folks, since Owen is a slacker, I'm gonna give you something to do with your boredom.

WHAT?? I LOST MY STAND TO SOME GUY THAT I MADE UP???

Uhh... yeah. Outta the way.

I'm not gonna stand for this.

Whatev. As I was saying, Fil Redenbacher here is gonna write something. Look at me go. Anywho, I was talking to Jill the other day when--

QUESTION!!!

What is it?

What's Jill's last name? She does have a last name... right?

Well you're the one that named her. Figure one out.

How about... Dutenheimer?

Works for me. Anyways...

QUESTION!!!

What this time?

Oh, nothing. Just wanted to interupt.

Do you WANT me to do this or not?

Uhhh.... not really.

Dammit.

Well it's not like you have anything to talk about anyways. You know... not actually existing and all...

Look - I know I may be a little different from you - bigger head... less fingers... two dimensional - but that doesn't mean you're somehow better than me.

Uhh.. yeah it does. I created you, remember?

Oh... right.

Well I guess that's all for now, folks.

But.. this was supposed to be my moment of glory!!!

Yeah. Sucks to be you.

Ahh... it's not so bad. Not existing kinda gives you an interesting outlook on life... since it's something you don't exactly have. Plus, there's always Jill.

Touché.

Hehehe...

So I haven't actually heard her talk. Does she?

Not too much. She's still good company, though.

I'm not asking into that.

Good plan.

Well, since I AM the one in control here, I'm gonna end this so you all can... uhh... go home... and do whatever it is you do...

You'll rue the day you crossed me.

...I refuse to indulge you.

Crap.

Tuesday, August 17

just go here.

Thursday, August 5

Long time no write, Fil.

[No kidding]

How are things with Jill?

[Shes been a little anxious lately - something to do with the time of month or something...]

Woah.



Anywho, I made a game.

Play it here.

I hope you have fun with it.

It's mighty awesome.




So I suppose I haven't been on recently because of millions of relatives deciding to show up. Wonderful.

There are far too many little kids around here.

Arg.



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