Check it out
Savvy Stuff
The Archives...
- February 2004
- March 2004
- April 2004
- May 2004
- June 2004
- July 2004
- August 2004
- September 2004
- October 2004
- November 2004
- December 2004
- January 2005
- February 2005
- March 2005
- May 2005
- July 2005
- August 2005
- September 2005
- October 2005
- November 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- March 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
Tuesday, January 25
Today I bring you one of my favourite songs of all time, from one of my favourite movies of all time. Enter: Monty Python.
Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen--
"That's enough singing for now."
Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen--
"That's enough singing for now."
Tuesday, January 18
Monday, January 17
Owen and Mzee
The one-year-old hippo calf christened Owen was found, alone and dehydrated, by wildlife rangers near the Indian Ocean, reports BBC News. He was placed in an enclosure of a wildlife sanctuary in Kenya, where he befirended a male tortoise of a similar colour. They sleep together, eat together and "have become inseparable," according to a park official. "The hippo follows the tortoise around and licks his face" said Pauline Kimoti. The tortoise is named Mzee, which is Swahili for old man.
Best news report EVER
The one-year-old hippo calf christened Owen was found, alone and dehydrated, by wildlife rangers near the Indian Ocean, reports BBC News. He was placed in an enclosure of a wildlife sanctuary in Kenya, where he befirended a male tortoise of a similar colour. They sleep together, eat together and "have become inseparable," according to a park official. "The hippo follows the tortoise around and licks his face" said Pauline Kimoti. The tortoise is named Mzee, which is Swahili for old man.
Best news report EVER
Wednesday, January 12
Saturday, January 8
Well, cleaning my tornado-swept room proved to be rewarding, as I came across a few papers from a long time ago. Both happen to be about heather. And now I shall share them.
==========================================
Reasons Heather = Slut
1. She's Scottish. Scottish = kilts. Kilts = slut.
2. She's thirsty. What could have made her mouth so dry? Slut.
3. She constantly has sex hair. Slut.
4. She "studies" with her man. Slutty McSlutterson.
5. She's short. Just the right height for... slut.
6. She's taking biology. What does one learn in biology? How about... human anatomy? What a slut.
7. Her favourite animal is sheep. What do sheep do? They go around, growing hair and having sex. Bahh.. bahh... slut.
8. She likes things to be neat and tidy. Smells like she's compensating for something. Slutface.
9. She has shoes and a plant named after her. Sounds like a porn star. Slut.
10. Her nose bleeds. I wonder why. I mean, crack whores' noses bleed, but that couldn't possibly be the reason. Slut.
11. She tries to steal my keys to the shaggin' wagon. I wonder what she wants that for... slutty driver...
12. She likes her own cleavage. Especially when it goes all the way to her chin. Cleavage slut.
13. She has named her own boobs. I don't want to say anything more. Juicy and Lucy = sluts.
14. Whe likes dollar stores. They have everything you want for just a dollar. She feels quite at home there. Cheap slut.
15. She has a trombone and knows all the positions... first position, second position, slut.
16. Just look at her pimp, Mr. Slut. Aww, how sweet... and slutty...
17. She can play trombone really well - her hand moves fast and she blows hard. I wonder where else she could use those skills... slut.
18. She has a set of sexy pens. Hmmm... sexy pens... I don't want to know where they've been. Slut.
*** This list has been approved by MMM.
==========================================
This list is ridiculous. You practically called yourself a slut a good number of times.
Nobody asked you. Now, on to the next one.
==========================================
This old whore, she played one
She won't stop until she's done
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played two
Wonder what she's gonna do
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played three
She brought home an STD
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played four
She keeps coming back for more
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played five
Can't believe she's still alive
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played six
Think her ass is full of ticks
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played seven
Started when she was eleven
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played eight
She sleeps all day and works late
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played nine
Hope she doesn't start to whine
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played ten
Sometimes opts for gay women
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
==========================================
Will somebody out there throw something at this guy for me?
==========================================
Reasons Heather = Slut
1. She's Scottish. Scottish = kilts. Kilts = slut.
2. She's thirsty. What could have made her mouth so dry? Slut.
3. She constantly has sex hair. Slut.
4. She "studies" with her man. Slutty McSlutterson.
5. She's short. Just the right height for... slut.
6. She's taking biology. What does one learn in biology? How about... human anatomy? What a slut.
7. Her favourite animal is sheep. What do sheep do? They go around, growing hair and having sex. Bahh.. bahh... slut.
8. She likes things to be neat and tidy. Smells like she's compensating for something. Slutface.
9. She has shoes and a plant named after her. Sounds like a porn star. Slut.
10. Her nose bleeds. I wonder why. I mean, crack whores' noses bleed, but that couldn't possibly be the reason. Slut.
11. She tries to steal my keys to the shaggin' wagon. I wonder what she wants that for... slutty driver...
12. She likes her own cleavage. Especially when it goes all the way to her chin. Cleavage slut.
13. She has named her own boobs. I don't want to say anything more. Juicy and Lucy = sluts.
14. Whe likes dollar stores. They have everything you want for just a dollar. She feels quite at home there. Cheap slut.
15. She has a trombone and knows all the positions... first position, second position, slut.
16. Just look at her pimp, Mr. Slut. Aww, how sweet... and slutty...
17. She can play trombone really well - her hand moves fast and she blows hard. I wonder where else she could use those skills... slut.
18. She has a set of sexy pens. Hmmm... sexy pens... I don't want to know where they've been. Slut.
*** This list has been approved by MMM.
==========================================
This list is ridiculous. You practically called yourself a slut a good number of times.
Nobody asked you. Now, on to the next one.
==========================================
This old whore, she played one
She won't stop until she's done
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played two
Wonder what she's gonna do
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played three
She brought home an STD
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played four
She keeps coming back for more
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played five
Can't believe she's still alive
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played six
Think her ass is full of ticks
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played seven
Started when she was eleven
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played eight
She sleeps all day and works late
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played nine
Hope she doesn't start to whine
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
This old whore, she played ten
Sometimes opts for gay women
With a knick-knack, patty-whack
Give the whore a bone
This old pimp is going home
==========================================
Will somebody out there throw something at this guy for me?
Friday, January 7
In the spirit of the new year, I've decided to answer another one of these questionaires. However, all my answers will start with the letter "P". Enjoy.
SIMPLE QUESTIONS:
1. Full name: Philippe Poltaire
2. Nicknames: Pimp Mastah
3. Shoe size: Possibly a 12
4. Height: Phive Phoot Eleven
5. Hair: Purple
6. Eyes: Purple
7. Do you like to sing in the shower? Possibly
8. What's 6x7? Phorty two
9. Birthday: Possible to remember? I think not. I was only two minutes old.
10. Sign: Platipus
11. Boxers or briefs?: noPe.
12. Sane? Perpetually
13. Righty or lefty: "Philippe is squirrel handed."
14. What do you want in a relationship? Porno
15.Do you have a car? Pontiac Sunfire
16. What kinda car do you have? Purple.
FAVOURITES
17. Movie: Princess Bride
18. Food: Perogies
19. Band: Petra
20. Song: Pop goes the weasel
21. Book: Purple
22. Subject: Purple
23. TV show: Pink Panther
24. Disney Character: Pinky and the Brain (not disney? Philippe doesn't care)
25. Colour: hmmm.... Purple.
THE FUTURE
26. Do you plan on having kids? Possibly
27. Get married? Please.
28. Would you have kids before marriage? probably not
29. Do you have a crush? Purple.
30. Do They Know? Pimp Mastah keeps all the ladies in the dark. And by dark, I mean bed.
THIS OR THAT
31. Music or TV: Petra
32. Guys/Girls: Platipuses
33. Pepsi/Coke: Plus, C
34. Black/White: Purple
35. Green/Blue: Purple
36. Pink/Purple: hmmmmm...... Poppy Red.
37. Summer/Winter: Philippe hates sunburns.
38. Day/Night: Pimpin' time = night.
39. Hanging Out/Chillin: Pimpin'
40. Dopey/Funny: Perfectly alright with me
41. Insane/sane: Pimp Mastah doesn't care as long as they pay up.
42. Sun/moon: Purple.
THE MOST
43. Favourite quote: "People are stupid. All of them." -- me
44. Scariest Dream: Pimp Mastah gets old.
45. Most Memorable Moment: Pathetic question
FRIENDS
46. Who Are They? Pimp Mastah needs no friends.
47. Best Friend(s): Philidia, Pimp Mastah's best costomer.
48. Nicest: Previous answer
49. Quietest: Previous answer
50. Blondest: Previous answer
51. Most Fun To Be Around: Previous answer.
52. Happiest: Previous answer
53. Funniest: Philippe is tired of repeating this.
54. Tallest:
55. Shortest:
56. Best personality:
57. Which people do you trust most?:
58. Do you believe in soul mates???
59. Is it right to flirt if you have a bf or gf?: Pimp Mastah thinks this is a stupid question.
MORE QUESTIONS:
61. Love or hate: Pimpin'
62. Silver or gold: Previous answer
63. Diamond or pearl: hehe... Pimp Mastah likes his bling bling
64. Sunset or sunrise: Pretty are both
65. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? Pimp Mastah rarely wears anything... ever...
66. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: Pierre, my stuffed platipus
67. Do you have any piercings: Piercings? methinks not.
68. What colour of underpants are you wearing right now? Pink.
69. What song are u listening to right now?: Phantom Mullet
70. Whats the last 4 digits of your phone home: Philippe doesn't like stalkers, thanks.
71. Where would you want to go on your honey moon: Paris.
73. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: Pants... or lack of them.
74. What makes you happy?: Purple
75. What's the next cd you're gonna get?: Pimp music
76. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Pimp glasses
77. What's the best advice you've had given to you?: "People are stupid - all of them" --me
78. Have you ever won any special awards?: Pathetic ones.
79. What are your goals in life?: uhh... pimpin'
80. What colour is your toothbrush?: purple
81. Funny or scary movies?: Partially both
82. On the phone or in person?: Person
83. Hugs or kisses? pimpin'
84. What song seems to reflect you the most?: Pimp Daddy
85. If you died tomorrow who would you leave everything to?: Pimp Mastah leaves everything to himself.
86. Do you have any enemies?: Pimps - rival ones.
87. Would you rather be rich or famous? Pimp mastah is rich and famous.
88. What time is it in Albany, USA now? Past bedtime.
89. What's the weirdest thing you've heard/found out about someone: Pimpin' is a chronic disease... pfff...
90. Have you ever met Santa?: Pfff - of course - me and him go fishing on weekends.
91. If E.T. knocked on your door holding up a peace sign and asked you to use your phone what would you do?: Punch him - man, that guys ugly
93. Do you have any pets? Philiponio the newt
94. whats the temperature outside: pretty chilly
95. Last time you were stressed: Pimp mastah knows how to release his stress...
96. Are you an alcoholic? Pimpin requires alcohol sometimes
97. Who sent this to you? uhh... Pimp mastah's second lady?
98. What is that person like? Pretty sexy
99. Do you want your friends to write back? Preferably sending chocolate to me.
100. Something Nobody Knows About You: Pimp Mastah isn't my real name...
I hope you were all thoroughly disturbed by this. It took me two whole sittings. And now I'm off.
SIMPLE QUESTIONS:
1. Full name: Philippe Poltaire
2. Nicknames: Pimp Mastah
3. Shoe size: Possibly a 12
4. Height: Phive Phoot Eleven
5. Hair: Purple
6. Eyes: Purple
7. Do you like to sing in the shower? Possibly
8. What's 6x7? Phorty two
9. Birthday: Possible to remember? I think not. I was only two minutes old.
10. Sign: Platipus
11. Boxers or briefs?: noPe.
12. Sane? Perpetually
13. Righty or lefty: "Philippe is squirrel handed."
14. What do you want in a relationship? Porno
15.Do you have a car? Pontiac Sunfire
16. What kinda car do you have? Purple.
FAVOURITES
17. Movie: Princess Bride
18. Food: Perogies
19. Band: Petra
20. Song: Pop goes the weasel
21. Book: Purple
22. Subject: Purple
23. TV show: Pink Panther
24. Disney Character: Pinky and the Brain (not disney? Philippe doesn't care)
25. Colour: hmmm.... Purple.
THE FUTURE
26. Do you plan on having kids? Possibly
27. Get married? Please.
28. Would you have kids before marriage? probably not
29. Do you have a crush? Purple.
30. Do They Know? Pimp Mastah keeps all the ladies in the dark. And by dark, I mean bed.
THIS OR THAT
31. Music or TV: Petra
32. Guys/Girls: Platipuses
33. Pepsi/Coke: Plus, C
34. Black/White: Purple
35. Green/Blue: Purple
36. Pink/Purple: hmmmmm...... Poppy Red.
37. Summer/Winter: Philippe hates sunburns.
38. Day/Night: Pimpin' time = night.
39. Hanging Out/Chillin: Pimpin'
40. Dopey/Funny: Perfectly alright with me
41. Insane/sane: Pimp Mastah doesn't care as long as they pay up.
42. Sun/moon: Purple.
THE MOST
43. Favourite quote: "People are stupid. All of them." -- me
44. Scariest Dream: Pimp Mastah gets old.
45. Most Memorable Moment: Pathetic question
FRIENDS
46. Who Are They? Pimp Mastah needs no friends.
47. Best Friend(s): Philidia, Pimp Mastah's best costomer.
48. Nicest: Previous answer
49. Quietest: Previous answer
50. Blondest: Previous answer
51. Most Fun To Be Around: Previous answer.
52. Happiest: Previous answer
53. Funniest: Philippe is tired of repeating this.
54. Tallest:
55. Shortest:
56. Best personality:
57. Which people do you trust most?:
58. Do you believe in soul mates???
59. Is it right to flirt if you have a bf or gf?: Pimp Mastah thinks this is a stupid question.
MORE QUESTIONS:
61. Love or hate: Pimpin'
62. Silver or gold: Previous answer
63. Diamond or pearl: hehe... Pimp Mastah likes his bling bling
64. Sunset or sunrise: Pretty are both
65. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? Pimp Mastah rarely wears anything... ever...
66. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: Pierre, my stuffed platipus
67. Do you have any piercings: Piercings? methinks not.
68. What colour of underpants are you wearing right now? Pink.
69. What song are u listening to right now?: Phantom Mullet
70. Whats the last 4 digits of your phone home: Philippe doesn't like stalkers, thanks.
71. Where would you want to go on your honey moon: Paris.
73. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: Pants... or lack of them.
74. What makes you happy?: Purple
75. What's the next cd you're gonna get?: Pimp music
76. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Pimp glasses
77. What's the best advice you've had given to you?: "People are stupid - all of them" --me
78. Have you ever won any special awards?: Pathetic ones.
79. What are your goals in life?: uhh... pimpin'
80. What colour is your toothbrush?: purple
81. Funny or scary movies?: Partially both
82. On the phone or in person?: Person
83. Hugs or kisses? pimpin'
84. What song seems to reflect you the most?: Pimp Daddy
85. If you died tomorrow who would you leave everything to?: Pimp Mastah leaves everything to himself.
86. Do you have any enemies?: Pimps - rival ones.
87. Would you rather be rich or famous? Pimp mastah is rich and famous.
88. What time is it in Albany, USA now? Past bedtime.
89. What's the weirdest thing you've heard/found out about someone: Pimpin' is a chronic disease... pfff...
90. Have you ever met Santa?: Pfff - of course - me and him go fishing on weekends.
91. If E.T. knocked on your door holding up a peace sign and asked you to use your phone what would you do?: Punch him - man, that guys ugly
93. Do you have any pets? Philiponio the newt
94. whats the temperature outside: pretty chilly
95. Last time you were stressed: Pimp mastah knows how to release his stress...
96. Are you an alcoholic? Pimpin requires alcohol sometimes
97. Who sent this to you? uhh... Pimp mastah's second lady?
98. What is that person like? Pretty sexy
99. Do you want your friends to write back? Preferably sending chocolate to me.
100. Something Nobody Knows About You: Pimp Mastah isn't my real name...
I hope you were all thoroughly disturbed by this. It took me two whole sittings. And now I'm off.
Monday, January 3
So, for those of you who have read the stone angel...
What if Kartar was one of the Main Characters in The Stone Angel?
Kartar was Hagar's childhood friend. He worked in the store with Hagar. They were like best friends. When Hagar met Bram, Kartar was jealous and didn't want to lose Hagar, so he killed Bram. Hagar and Kartar moved to Michigan and worked at a telephone company. They conceived their first child (Hartar) in the copy room. It was a clear resemblance of Kartar, though, so they moved to Alaska, the only place in the world where the baby wouldn't be ridiculed for his mutant glow. Kartar didn't want the responsibility of his mutant glowing baby, so he drove a boat to Iceland where he went and hung out with Bjorm in a coffee shop eating cheese. The cheese was Swiss, but it didn't have any holes. Interesting.
The End.
What if Kartar was one of the Main Characters in The Stone Angel?
Kartar was Hagar's childhood friend. He worked in the store with Hagar. They were like best friends. When Hagar met Bram, Kartar was jealous and didn't want to lose Hagar, so he killed Bram. Hagar and Kartar moved to Michigan and worked at a telephone company. They conceived their first child (Hartar) in the copy room. It was a clear resemblance of Kartar, though, so they moved to Alaska, the only place in the world where the baby wouldn't be ridiculed for his mutant glow. Kartar didn't want the responsibility of his mutant glowing baby, so he drove a boat to Iceland where he went and hung out with Bjorm in a coffee shop eating cheese. The cheese was Swiss, but it didn't have any holes. Interesting.
The End.
Credits
Blogger.com
Haloscan.com
Imageshack.us
WeatherPixie.com
.