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Sunday, July 10
You have stumbled upon...
Owen's Movie Reviews
Welcome to Owen's Movie Reviews. Today, we'll be examining the attrocity that is "The Grudge". Man. Just like a good portion of other craptastic not-so-scary movies I've seen lately, this one involves people wandering around a haunted house, alone, to investigate the disappearance of other people that wandered in alone. Why do they keep going in alone? Don't they understand? It's this simple fact that ruines most of these kinds of movies for me. Carrie, The Ring, Hide and Seek, The Ring 2, and Pride and Prejudice are the only real scary movies that I like. The most recent crap-fests (The Forgotten, White Noise, Saw, etc.) are just stupid and boring. Although I did laugh quite a bit in the forgotten. Hilarious.
Here is depicted a typical scene of a typical bad bad scary movie:
This is what most of The Grudge looked like. Stupid people, stupid ghost things, stupid house, stupid movie.
I don't understand - a company throws together a bunch of heart-beating-out-of-your-chest scenes and a few lines of dialogue to give it "story", then calls it a good scary movie? Yes, these movies give everyone in the theatre a heart attack, but so does fast food. It takes way more than that to create a good scary movie. Take, for instance, Hide and Seek. At first, I had a sneaking suspicion that this was going to be another typical bad movie, but that was changed as soon as I realized the actors weren't picked just for their "horror faces". You know, that face you see when one of the people finds someone dead in the bathtub or something. And there was actually plot. There were just the right amount of heart attack scenes, and a decent twist at the end.
Then, of course, there's the greatest scary movie of all time: Carrie. It's about a girl named Carrie, who gets picked on her whole life, and has a psychotic mother. She finds out that she has telepathy, and starts kicking ass. And none of that "everyone survives" crap, either - she burns her entire gymnasium containing all of her fellow classmates and a good portion of her teachers, then blows up a car containing this annoying girl and John Travolta. Of course, this movie was made in '76. They would never make another movie like this today - they would spend too much time making sure no one would be offended to include any ass-kickery. Man, I love this movie.
Well, I suppose this concludes my movie review. I realize this is a very Maddox-esque type post. No, I don't care.
Owen's Movie Reviews
Welcome to Owen's Movie Reviews. Today, we'll be examining the attrocity that is "The Grudge". Man. Just like a good portion of other craptastic not-so-scary movies I've seen lately, this one involves people wandering around a haunted house, alone, to investigate the disappearance of other people that wandered in alone. Why do they keep going in alone? Don't they understand? It's this simple fact that ruines most of these kinds of movies for me. Carrie, The Ring, Hide and Seek, The Ring 2, and Pride and Prejudice are the only real scary movies that I like. The most recent crap-fests (The Forgotten, White Noise, Saw, etc.) are just stupid and boring. Although I did laugh quite a bit in the forgotten. Hilarious.
Here is depicted a typical scene of a typical bad bad scary movie:
This is what most of The Grudge looked like. Stupid people, stupid ghost things, stupid house, stupid movie.
I don't understand - a company throws together a bunch of heart-beating-out-of-your-chest scenes and a few lines of dialogue to give it "story", then calls it a good scary movie? Yes, these movies give everyone in the theatre a heart attack, but so does fast food. It takes way more than that to create a good scary movie. Take, for instance, Hide and Seek. At first, I had a sneaking suspicion that this was going to be another typical bad movie, but that was changed as soon as I realized the actors weren't picked just for their "horror faces". You know, that face you see when one of the people finds someone dead in the bathtub or something. And there was actually plot. There were just the right amount of heart attack scenes, and a decent twist at the end.
Then, of course, there's the greatest scary movie of all time: Carrie. It's about a girl named Carrie, who gets picked on her whole life, and has a psychotic mother. She finds out that she has telepathy, and starts kicking ass. And none of that "everyone survives" crap, either - she burns her entire gymnasium containing all of her fellow classmates and a good portion of her teachers, then blows up a car containing this annoying girl and John Travolta. Of course, this movie was made in '76. They would never make another movie like this today - they would spend too much time making sure no one would be offended to include any ass-kickery. Man, I love this movie.
Well, I suppose this concludes my movie review. I realize this is a very Maddox-esque type post. No, I don't care.
Wednesday, July 6
That's it - I'm not letting the non-posting go on another instant! Sorry for neglecting you, my thousands of readers. Right.
So, let's see what has happened in the last month...
Well, first and foremost, there was prom. It was pretty darn awesome. Check us out:
No, your eyes do not deceive you - I am wearing a purple tie that matches my hot babe's awesome and slightly sparkly purple dress. Oh man, we rock.
Then, there was our limo (provided by the Oin Limo Service). No, it's not my van with a few tablecloths over the seats and christmas lights strewn about, really...
It was quite awesome - we were the envy of everyone there. Go us.
Well, last month, I also graduated. YESSSS!
Not too long ago was the illustrius Canada Day. That was good times, let me tell you. We got all dressed up in our checkered Canada pants and played with LCB, then just general partying until the fireworks and such other festivities that night. Awesomeness!
Well I think that sums up last month pretty well. Not too bad of a month, if I may say so myself.
So, let's see what has happened in the last month...
Well, first and foremost, there was prom. It was pretty darn awesome. Check us out:
No, your eyes do not deceive you - I am wearing a purple tie that matches my hot babe's awesome and slightly sparkly purple dress. Oh man, we rock.
Then, there was our limo (provided by the Oin Limo Service). No, it's not my van with a few tablecloths over the seats and christmas lights strewn about, really...
It was quite awesome - we were the envy of everyone there. Go us.
Well, last month, I also graduated. YESSSS!
Not too long ago was the illustrius Canada Day. That was good times, let me tell you. We got all dressed up in our checkered Canada pants and played with LCB, then just general partying until the fireworks and such other festivities that night. Awesomeness!
Well I think that sums up last month pretty well. Not too bad of a month, if I may say so myself.
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