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Staple guns - because duct tape can't make that "Ka-CHUNK" noise
- xkcd

Friday, December 10

STORY TIME!!!


It was a dark and stormy night. The tall stone fortress stood on the cliff. Atop one of the corner towers stood a man. He was quite tall. His gaze was hard enough to turn coal to diamonds. Suddenly, the ghost of Colonel Sanders appeared before him, offering a bucket of tasty fried chicken.
"I don't want your friggin' chicken!" exclaimed the lonely man. "Swiss Chalet is better! Besides, I'm busy looking for coal. I thought of this great money making strategy..."
"The Colonel always does chicken right!" boomed the ghost. "You will pay for your insolence!" whereupon the ghost threw his ghastly chicken in the coal-man's direction and disappeared.
"You'll pay for that one!" the man yelled.
"Not until you eat it" retorted Sanders, suddenly reappearing with a dish of coleslaw.
"That chicken hurt!" said the man. "And do you know why? It was OVERCOOKED!"
"Noooo!" screamed the ghost. "Never insult my chicken!" The Colonel sprayed coleslaw into the man's face, sweeping his pimp cane to take out the man's knees. The man couldn't stand for this. He grabbed his partisan (because all people standing watch have partisans) and thrusted it at the ghost. At that precise moment in time, all the deep fryers in the world felt a large blow of destruction.
"NOOOOO!" shouted Sander's ghost. "Now my plans for greasy world domination are ruined! And it's ALL YOUR FAULT!"
As the ghost writhed in agony on the ground, the mysterious man stepped back and removed his mask.
"Jared?" Sanders gasped.
"That's right, and I'm putting you out of business for good. With KFC out of the way, Subway will rule the fast-food world! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

The End.


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