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Thursday, September 30
Hello, bored one.
Hello, boring one.
Who? Me? Not this time.
Right. I believe you.
No you don't.
Thanks, Mr. Obvious.
Mr. Obvious? That's not my name.
Stupidity.... overwhelming...... must... talk.... in... slow... gasps....
We'll worry about him later. For now, I've got another amazing story for all of you.
NOOOOOO............ gasps........ getting.......... longer................ must......... escape.......... stupidity.........
I was working at the CTC when--
AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH..............
Uhhh.... Fil?
.............
Oh well.
Well that's just great. I die and you don't even care.
HA!! I KNEW you weren't dead!!
....crap.
Well anyways.... I was working at the CTC when I saw something no person should ever see in a hardware/automotive-based store. Lever 2000.
Nasty.
That's not all. Just after I was getting over that shock, I came across an even worse item - toothpaste.
Toothpaste? In a hardware/automotive-based store like CTC?
Yup.
Amazing.
Woah... you mean you actually LIKED my story???
Sadly enough, yes.
Folks, it's a sad day when toothpaste is sold at a local hardware/automotive-based store and Fil likes one of my stories.
You're telling me.
Yes, yes I am.
Thanks, Tips.
That's not my name either.
Dying.... again....
Hello, boring one.
Who? Me? Not this time.
Right. I believe you.
No you don't.
Thanks, Mr. Obvious.
Mr. Obvious? That's not my name.
Stupidity.... overwhelming...... must... talk.... in... slow... gasps....
We'll worry about him later. For now, I've got another amazing story for all of you.
NOOOOOO............ gasps........ getting.......... longer................ must......... escape.......... stupidity.........
I was working at the CTC when--
AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH..............
Uhhh.... Fil?
.............
Oh well.
Well that's just great. I die and you don't even care.
HA!! I KNEW you weren't dead!!
....crap.
Well anyways.... I was working at the CTC when I saw something no person should ever see in a hardware/automotive-based store. Lever 2000.
Nasty.
That's not all. Just after I was getting over that shock, I came across an even worse item - toothpaste.
Toothpaste? In a hardware/automotive-based store like CTC?
Yup.
Amazing.
Woah... you mean you actually LIKED my story???
Sadly enough, yes.
Folks, it's a sad day when toothpaste is sold at a local hardware/automotive-based store and Fil likes one of my stories.
You're telling me.
Yes, yes I am.
Thanks, Tips.
That's not my name either.
Dying.... again....
Friday, September 24
Hey there.
Holy crap.
What?
When was the last time you made a post two days in a row?
Well I just happened to make a wonderful discovery, Fil.
If it's as good as yesterday's, we can all save ourselves the trouble of listening and run into a wall right now.
Well, it's more of a poem than a discovery.
If it's half as bad as the ones you posted before, I'm outta here.
Well, let's find out, shall we?
John was his name, cheating was his game
With a lust for love no woman could tame
He'd always go out or a drink on the town
He'd always go out with a smile, no frown
Now on Friday night at a bar they call Bills
John met a girl with tits just like hills
They danced and drank and partied it up
You never saw them with no drink in their cup
He knew he was married, it seemed no big deal
Considering the fact that these boobs felt so real
John played and he poked and he muddled around
Then the girl named Trina, then noticed his mound
She liked what she saw and told him just that
John grabbed his coat as quick as a cat
They got to her place and turned off the lights
Johnny was in for one hell of a night
She undid her pants, boy that was quick
To John's surprise, the "she" had a ____
Disgusted was he at the thoughts that he had
More than that, he was a tad mad
Never again would he cheat on his wife
He told her this and swore on his life
So him and his wife are happy this day
That John didn't do something totally gay
--- Alex Perdeaux
So how'd'ya like it?
I'm outta here.
Meh. I liked it.
Holy crap.
What?
When was the last time you made a post two days in a row?
Well I just happened to make a wonderful discovery, Fil.
If it's as good as yesterday's, we can all save ourselves the trouble of listening and run into a wall right now.
Well, it's more of a poem than a discovery.
If it's half as bad as the ones you posted before, I'm outta here.
Well, let's find out, shall we?
John was his name, cheating was his game
With a lust for love no woman could tame
He'd always go out or a drink on the town
He'd always go out with a smile, no frown
Now on Friday night at a bar they call Bills
John met a girl with tits just like hills
They danced and drank and partied it up
You never saw them with no drink in their cup
He knew he was married, it seemed no big deal
Considering the fact that these boobs felt so real
John played and he poked and he muddled around
Then the girl named Trina, then noticed his mound
She liked what she saw and told him just that
John grabbed his coat as quick as a cat
They got to her place and turned off the lights
Johnny was in for one hell of a night
She undid her pants, boy that was quick
To John's surprise, the "she" had a ____
Disgusted was he at the thoughts that he had
More than that, he was a tad mad
Never again would he cheat on his wife
He told her this and swore on his life
So him and his wife are happy this day
That John didn't do something totally gay
--- Alex Perdeaux
So how'd'ya like it?
I'm outta here.
Meh. I liked it.
Thursday, September 23
I have made a wonderful discovery, Fil.
Really?
Yes.
I see.
No you don't. I haven't told you what the discovery was yet.
Touché.
Eww... no.
...the state of your mind could best be represented by a ripe orange. A REALLY ripe orange. Like rotten. And it was run over by an ugly, ugly truck.
I'm glad you think so highly of my overripe, ugly-truck-squashed mind.
No problem.
Well, here's my discovery:
Pushing around lotsa carts plus trumpet with no finish equals hands that smell like dog.
...You held that whole thing back this long? That must have been a lot of strain on your overripe, ugly-truck-squashed mind.
That it was, Fil. That it was.
Really?
Yes.
I see.
No you don't. I haven't told you what the discovery was yet.
Touché.
Eww... no.
...the state of your mind could best be represented by a ripe orange. A REALLY ripe orange. Like rotten. And it was run over by an ugly, ugly truck.
I'm glad you think so highly of my overripe, ugly-truck-squashed mind.
No problem.
Well, here's my discovery:
Pushing around lotsa carts plus trumpet with no finish equals hands that smell like dog.
...You held that whole thing back this long? That must have been a lot of strain on your overripe, ugly-truck-squashed mind.
That it was, Fil. That it was.
Wednesday, September 15
So, Fil. Want something GOOD this week?
I sure do. Jill's been giving me hell lately.
Wait... wasn't there that incident yesterday? Something about a naked buffalo hunt?
Um.... I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a naked buffalo hunt that presumably happened monday night.
I see.
Really, now?
Uhh... yes. Yes I do.
I see.
Really, now?
Don't pull that stuff with me.
Fine - I'll give you my good stuff for the month: a few poems that came straight from my english class. I'm not gonna explain anything else, because, frankly, my goal here is to confuse the hell outta you.
Poor, ugly pig
Hairy and small
I feel sorry for you
Lonely you are
And lonely am I
Just a poor, ugly pig
I look into your stupid eyes
So dark and lonely
But some day I will look past the ugly
That's what I will do
Some day, perhaps
Someone will see your beauty
In a tasty plate of bacon
Or a juicy slice of ham
You'd look beautiful
Between two slices of bread
With mayo and cheese
You're making me drool.
The horse is brown
Brown is the horse
There is someone sitting on the brown horse
On the brown horse there is someone sitting
I am sitting
Yes, that is me
With tight, white pants
There are four white boats
They're all the same
Some jerk tried to trick us
Why are they in a picture with a horse?
This horse is uncomfortable
And it smells pretty bad
I'm getting a wedgie
With my tight, white pants
I'd rather be sailing
In a small, white craft
But instead, I'm stuck here
On this brown horse
With perfect trees
And perfect grass
What are those two flags?
This picture is about me and my ugly, smelly, stupid horse
Not flags.
I am alone
With two strange people
In front of something leaning
This is gay.
Why did I come here?
This vacation sucks
I want to go home
And watch TV.
Why is this lady touching me?
She's making me very uncomfortable
I don't know who she is
Maybe that leaning thing will fall on her.
The man is scary, too
Grinning like that
I want to run away
And have that tower crush him to tiny bits.
These aren't my parents
They've kidnapped me
Two strange lonely freaks.
This is what I tell to anyone who asks
Italian prison isn't that bad.
That's it. I'm outta here.
I win.
I sure do. Jill's been giving me hell lately.
Wait... wasn't there that incident yesterday? Something about a naked buffalo hunt?
Um.... I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a naked buffalo hunt that presumably happened monday night.
I see.
Really, now?
Uhh... yes. Yes I do.
I see.
Really, now?
Don't pull that stuff with me.
Fine - I'll give you my good stuff for the month: a few poems that came straight from my english class. I'm not gonna explain anything else, because, frankly, my goal here is to confuse the hell outta you.
Poor, ugly pig
Hairy and small
I feel sorry for you
Lonely you are
And lonely am I
Just a poor, ugly pig
I look into your stupid eyes
So dark and lonely
But some day I will look past the ugly
That's what I will do
Some day, perhaps
Someone will see your beauty
In a tasty plate of bacon
Or a juicy slice of ham
You'd look beautiful
Between two slices of bread
With mayo and cheese
You're making me drool.
The horse is brown
Brown is the horse
There is someone sitting on the brown horse
On the brown horse there is someone sitting
I am sitting
Yes, that is me
With tight, white pants
There are four white boats
They're all the same
Some jerk tried to trick us
Why are they in a picture with a horse?
This horse is uncomfortable
And it smells pretty bad
I'm getting a wedgie
With my tight, white pants
I'd rather be sailing
In a small, white craft
But instead, I'm stuck here
On this brown horse
With perfect trees
And perfect grass
What are those two flags?
This picture is about me and my ugly, smelly, stupid horse
Not flags.
I am alone
With two strange people
In front of something leaning
This is gay.
Why did I come here?
This vacation sucks
I want to go home
And watch TV.
Why is this lady touching me?
She's making me very uncomfortable
I don't know who she is
Maybe that leaning thing will fall on her.
The man is scary, too
Grinning like that
I want to run away
And have that tower crush him to tiny bits.
These aren't my parents
They've kidnapped me
Two strange lonely freaks.
This is what I tell to anyone who asks
Italian prison isn't that bad.
That's it. I'm outta here.
I win.
Wednesday, September 8
Looks about time for another update, Fil.
Where ya been? I thought you died.
That's comforting. I've been hanging out with "The Lady".
"The Lady", huh? Is she the one with the bad, bad sunglasses or the french moustache?
That was a bad, bad superimposition, Fil. She doesn't actually have a moustache in real life. She just wants one.
Thats MUCH better, then.
Damn straight.
So... what sort of entertainment do you have for us today?
Not too sure.
What the hell... I sit around here for 9 freakin days and all I get is a "not too sure"?!?!?!
You don't exist. Therefore, you don't have to sit around here all day. And what's going on with Jill? She can't be reporting the weather ALL the time, can she?
Nope. In fact, she gets up there five seconds before you come to this page, and leaves soon after you do. Kinda freaky, if you ask me.
Indeed.
Are you gonna come up with anything interesting?
Nope.
Damn. You suck, you know that?
I'm not the two dimensional, non-existant one here.
HEY!!! I take offense to that.
That was the idea, Fil.
Damn.
Hmmm.... how are things with you, Fil?
Non-existant, as you so excitedly pointed out.
Fine - I'm sorry...
Well thank yo--
...that you DONT EXIST!!! BOOYA!!!
Booya?
Umm... yes. Booya. And Booya again. Twice. Booya.
Someone save me.
Where ya been? I thought you died.
That's comforting. I've been hanging out with "The Lady".
"The Lady", huh? Is she the one with the bad, bad sunglasses or the french moustache?
That was a bad, bad superimposition, Fil. She doesn't actually have a moustache in real life. She just wants one.
Thats MUCH better, then.
Damn straight.
So... what sort of entertainment do you have for us today?
Not too sure.
What the hell... I sit around here for 9 freakin days and all I get is a "not too sure"?!?!?!
You don't exist. Therefore, you don't have to sit around here all day. And what's going on with Jill? She can't be reporting the weather ALL the time, can she?
Nope. In fact, she gets up there five seconds before you come to this page, and leaves soon after you do. Kinda freaky, if you ask me.
Indeed.
Are you gonna come up with anything interesting?
Nope.
Damn. You suck, you know that?
I'm not the two dimensional, non-existant one here.
HEY!!! I take offense to that.
That was the idea, Fil.
Damn.
Hmmm.... how are things with you, Fil?
Non-existant, as you so excitedly pointed out.
Fine - I'm sorry...
Well thank yo--
...that you DONT EXIST!!! BOOYA!!!
Booya?
Umm... yes. Booya. And Booya again. Twice. Booya.
Someone save me.
Credits
Blogger.com
Haloscan.com
Imageshack.us
WeatherPixie.com
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